When we go through life we often talk about whats important to us, we talk about living in the moment and appreciating the small things. I dont know that I ever did any of that. Now as I sit here all I want is just a few things that i took for granted that I thought I would always have. I dont want anything nice, I miss my family and my friends. I want to hug my wife, I want to hold my kids, pet my dogs and just do the little things. I miss coaching the kids and showing up at sports events. These are the only thoughts I have anymore. I really dont think about much else. Time is valuable, its our most improtant resource. I want to spend it differently when I get out. In a sense im glad everythign was taken from me, its the only way to actually feel what I needed in life. Spend some extra time this weekend with your family and friends. Tell them you appreciate them and hold them tight.
Its been 3 months in so far and it feels like it has passed at a decent pace. Being in the RDAP program has changed things up and i feel like im finding my routine again after a couple weeks. It was difficult the first week or 2. Its difficult being on the top bunk, you cant just sit down in your bed and read or do other productive things. I have had to learn new ways. This coming week I may have an opportunity to get my own cell when the graduating RDAP class leaves. Im keeping my fingers crossed. All the guys around me are new guys that Im getting to know. All have very interesting stories, everything from drug dealers to financial crimes. Most of these guys didnt do anything on a small level either. What also interesting is you would never know on the street that any of the guys did anything bad. They look the same and act the same as anyone else I have met on the street. There arent many tough guys in here, they are just as scared, worried and upset as the next guy. They all want to do better and never return to prison. Again, I find myself wanting to help in some way. I hate seeing a guy thats made one mistake in his life go through this all while leaving his fmaily at home. You start to learn the names of their kids, wives and other family members. Everyone here wants help and wants to do the right thing, I think this program is going to be good for everyone. We were assigned a group and a mentor last week, I really like my group. The guys seem very direct and to the point.