I’ve been in a little over 2 weeks now. Things are going relatively well. A Lot of the my emotions have subsided and it has given me an opportunity to peel back some of the layers. I have this incredibly strong urge to share my story of what happened from indictment to prison. I am trying to understand why I want this and whether it will be productive. At sentencing I thought I would get some type of closure, that the judge would tell me where things went wrong. This didnt happen, at trial the prosecutors gave their side and we gave our side, the jury then gives a simple verdict. I’m also scared of the unwielded power that the AUSA prosecutors have and what they are capable of if I share my story. I believe sharing is the right thing to do and may possibly help me find some type of closure. Maybe it will help someone else that goes through a similar situation.
I have recently ordered some memoirs. I’m currently reading a great memoir, ” Mans Search for Meaning “. Its about a jewish man who found meaning while in nazi concentration camps. It helps me put into perspective how good I have things but I also would like to read books like this in order to learn to write in case I take up writing about my experience.
I would like some input on what I should do about this sense of indignity I feel. Something is missing, I feel a need to fix something. I want to be productive with it while also showing humility. I don’t want it to be portrayed as self serving. Should I write about what happened? Can you guys help em with some ideas?