Last night a group of us was watching tv, at about 10pm one of the other inmates came over and took the remote. Very heated exchanges started taking place, to the point where people were face to face yelling. One of the guys went and put on his tennis shoes right away. Apparently this means lets fight. The reason they put on tennis shoes is because the fighting is done in the bathroom in prison and if your in the bathroom you will definitely want to wear shoes. Anyways, most of the guys were able to subdue their emotions and stop. Its not worth many of them said, including myself.
The book I’m reading “Noise” talks a lot about decision making and what can effect our decisions. Without “noise” we as humans can make good decisions, the problem with that is there is never any decision made with out it. Emotions are difficult to overcome at times. Emotions aren’t the only form of noise but for this story it was. Its not easy to psycho-analyze ones self for every thing that comes up. If we try and be more conscious and understand how our subconscious can work against us, we will be able to make better decisions. For me, its taking more time to think and deliberate. Oftentimes I will now use forms of meditation. Ultimately I would have hated to see something happen last night that would have cost an inmate a year longer away from his family.
I get asked a lot what was the worst thing that happened to me during this whole process from indictment to prison. Its really a short list but these are the few I dwell on often. That hurt the most. Please don’t feel bad for me though, I plan on getting them all back or at least making them right!
– #1 is the pain and suffering of my family and friends
– Being removed as head coach of youth football
– Being removed from “Community Cooperative” board and “Lee Builders Care” board
– The employees who lost their jobs at Target Roofing