I dont have much substance to write about today. I had a rough night last night and couldnt sleep. I have a mild sickness and it makes it a little hard to breath when Im laying down. I walked and paced the unit most of the night last night. Replaying everything that has happened over the last year. I thought things would get easier but there are just moments and nights that really suck. I think what makes it even more difficult is that I am almost out of minutes for the phone so I cant just call my wife to calm me down when I want to. I wish I could just turn to her sometimes for support. I need her more than she could ever imagine right now.
It was another rain day so we didnt do much at work. I went and looked at a few roof leaks inside the buildings but other than that was difficult to be productive. When Im not doing much my mind will wonder. I think when i get over this funk of a sickness things will be better.
I did not get into the RDAP program this time around which is the substance abuse program. It starts again Nov 16th which we expect we will get into. Its a 9 month program that really focuses on mental health. Around the day of completion of the program I will be eligible for release which is 11 months from today. I look forward to it and any help it can provide.